Reconciled.

Every single time, when I feel like giving up on you.
I will go and search that girl's social media and keep on reminding myself how she treated you.
To aware myself not to treat you back like she does.
But again and again, I keep doing the same thing as what she did.
Or maybe even worst than she does.


Sometime I hope myself can understand you well like she does.
Then I know when, what, why will cause you angry.
Instead of always making the same mistake.
I try my best to get in your heart although its tough enough. 
I never ask to gain back anything because i know what i should ask for and what i shouldn't
The reason of doing all this is because I love you baby.
Seriously I do.


Every time you pushed me away, I try my best to let you know I just right beside of you.
I tried so badly and hardly.
I'm not as strong as you think.
I'm only a girl.
I will still feeling exhausted.
I didn't ask for more but at least can get back a little love from you.
Like your caring, your love, your pamper and maybe your heart as well.
I know you love me too.
But does it enough for me?
No.
It's never enough for me.
That's me.
The selfish me.
The ugliest part of me.
Some times I hope you know the evil part of me.
But some time I hope you will never know.
Because I afraid you will leave me because of this reason.
I hope you know I paid a lot of efforts on you.
And also I hope and wish hard you do the same to me.
I know. Seriously I know you also gave me a lot.


And you have your own problem and will makes you feel stressed on it.
I don't want to be one of the causes.
So I stay low and standing beside with you.
But can you don't treat my tolerate as a must?
I know it's my duties as in girlfriend.
But I gave you so much of patience, why can't you give me back some?
What you needs. I needs more.
I will never say because I'm a girl, I'm a female so you must become the one who tolerate.
I'm just a girl who fall in you.
I need loves too.
You said I will never understand you. 
So I can't stand on your side and think. 
Dude. That's just an excuse. 


I'm tired. 
I feels like giving up.
But I'm afraid of losing you.
You are part of me.
I never ever wants and hope to hurt you.
I love you.
So I'm going to tell myself I'm good and continue.